I have decided that I will no longer give advice after today. I look back to my life when I was turning 21 and examine all of the advice that I received and realize that most of it is worthless. All the people giving you advice are doing it so that you can be happy. In doing this they are either advising you to do what they did, or to do the exact opposite. They are either happy or miserable. But none of these people know what will make you happy. In fact looking back on it the only advice I would have taken had I known better would have been from me.
I don't mean me then, I mean me now. The past me could have learned a lot from the future me. In fact if any of you run into a twenty seven year old me, ask him for a piece of advice. He probably won't give you any because unless he's changed a lot he's probably still a jackass, but at least try for me. If that doesn't happen at least let me give you some advice for a twenty one year old me, in case you ever see him. And he listens to you.
1) Embrace your weaknesses. They're called weaknesses because they make you weak.
2) Sing and dance like you are punishing the earth for not giving you any talent.
3) The easiest way to become something that you really want to be is to pretend that you already are.
4) There are plenty of things you are going to wish you didn't remember, it's only fitting for there to be things you can't remember that you wish you did.
5) Make completely irrational decisions without a moment of thought. Some of the best things that happen in life are accidents.
6) Only listen to people you are interested in. Apparently they think you like them if you do.
7) Tell lies about yourself. Even if people only believe 5 percent of them you'll believe just as many.
8) Keep secrets about yourself. Don't tell anyone. No one should know more about you than you do.
9) Vehemently deny things you know to be true. Get good at it. Rationalize impossible, probable and factual events of life in the same way. Also admit things most people wouldn't. People will have no idea what to think.
By the way for all of you that are turning 21, your twenty first birthday will be a great night. The next day is going to suck. It's because of the massive headache you have. Not only from all the alcohol in your head, but because of the tab I've been keeping from the time I turned twenty one until now. The tab is stapled to your forehead and now that you can both drive and buy beer you can drive to go get me beer.
10) Never apologize unless you really mean it. And you have to. And never be nicer than you have to be- save your energy. It might take less energy to smile then frown, but that blank stare you keep doesn't take any energy at all.
11) Write down all of your really good ideas, before you forget them.
12) Invent ridiculous games and then become the best at them.
13) You will have plenty of time in your life to do the boring things. Feel free to spend money, use gas and avoid sleep in the pursuit of happiness.
14) Keep your eyes open and take nothing for granted.
15) Never sell yourself short
16) Always hold something back- this way you never know what your limitations are.
17) Compartmentalize your life, it makes it much easier to stay organized.
18) Never explain yourself, but always have a reason for what you do.
19) Talk to yourself in second person when you know that people are listening.
20) Give bad advice to people you have influence over, it will teach them the ways of the world.
21) Feel free to ignore any advice you want to, from anyone that gives it to you. Beware of the "I told you so" that's coming from them in the future.
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