Cut Backing

Before we get into this anymore than we already have let me just say that I haven't showered on shaved since this weekend.

Moving on...

So I know people are cutting back. But just how far are they taking it, and is it going too far? We are going to dip into some of my philosophies on life.

Are people cutting back on hygiene? I don't just mean showers and shaving (although increased body stench leading to global warming is a reasonable explanation in my book), I mean hair cuts, pedicures, manicures, facials, spas. Are people not as well kept as they were at this time last year?

Is there any chance that we can all get together, I'm free next Monday, and decide what we are cutting back on? I propose McDonald's, smut mags, TV channels that no one watches, bad ideas, certain food groups, mediocre movies, most trendy music, cell phones, and road construction.

There are certain things that no one will ever agree to cut back on. There will always be a booming alcohol, porn, gambling and sports industry. No matter what they tell you these will not suffer (unless Mormons take over or we come up with something better). People will always drink when they are depressed, and alcohol being a depressant, people will drink more and more. Porn will always be around, as will gambling. Porn being part of the oldest profession that has lasted through Bubonic plagues, depressions, religions and everything else. Gambling being a way out of economic depression and sports being a great aid to gamblers everywhere.

The scary thing would be if a sports franchise relocated to Las Vegas, there games would be little slices of economic turn down heaven.

There are two things that humans should never cut back on- and these are books and ham sandwiches. I'll start with ham.

If we stop eating meat, what the hell are we going to do with all the cows, chickens, pigs and anything else that you want to eat? Are we going to let them loose? Should we just let them live on their own? I have read animal farm, and I will not let that happen!

The same goes with books. We cannot keep this move to electronic everything going. Electronic documents, books, manuals- what are we going to print? We are going to let the trees take over. I have seen Lord of the Rings, we cannot empower the trees, they will come after us. Sure we might be able to breath better, but what's going to happen when they get over crowded?- They're going to spread out. And where are they going to spread to?- Your house. That's right, read 'em or live with 'em.

So with all these questions about what we can, can't, shouldn't and should cut back on someone needs to step up and become the Secretary of Cutbacking...

Since no one stood up when I wrote that I will volunteer myself. All of you are invited to the first meeting of (I haven't come up with the acronym yet, but I'm pretty sure that it will be something derogatory) Monday morning (1:30 PM) in my basement. Until then keep petitioning your representative for the CCC to come back.