My first foray into politics.

By popular demand...

I don't talk about politics. Lest you be warned. My beliefs are either boring and grey or designed to piss off other people. For example my belief on a woman's right to choose: I don't like abortion, I think it's wrong. I don't think the government has any right to enforce my belief on anyone else though or anyone else's belief on me. I was a Political Science major for the theory not the reality. I also think that Political Science is as much of a science as alchemy. It seems to be constantly changing, and we only learn what not to do from our failures. We might be getting closer to the gold, but we're still pretty far from it. Here's another shocker for you- I'm a Utopian.

Much of my political belief is not based on reality, or facts. You might say that makes me uninformed- but at least I'm not biased at all. I think the cold war is going to start again, and this time the Commies may win. They control a lot of the energy in the world- Venezuela and Russia, and they have few morals- killing journalists pops into mind. And tell me what Putin did by becoming Prime Minister wasn't the Democratic version of a coup or even a purge.

But anyway, now that I have prepared you, I think that relationship between the Democrats and the Republicans is beginning to strangely mirror the relationship between the Dark and Light sides of the Force.

Think about it. It's not perfect, but the beginnings of this are here.

The Dem's start out, nice and in control. Then doubt seeps in. Their leaders are shown to have faults and the majority of the universe begins to doubt their ability to govern. Through some means (further trickery in the one case, semen on a dress in the other) the Dark Side gained full control. While the Dark Side didn't turn a young Dem who had promise to restore order to the Force, there was an Obi Wan. He strays from the counsels lead and the next thing you know all the Jedi are in hiding and the Sith rule the world.

All Obi had to do was listen to his masters, follow the plan and the Light Side would have stayed in power forever. All Al Gore had to do was follow in the footsteps of his master and the Dems would still be in power, but nooooo. There's no drama in the status quo. Obi wanted to be the hero, to make a good thing better. We all know that Al wanted to save the world.

Both would go on to redeem themselves, but in both cases it was too little too late for both of them. Obi would die to inspire(?) Luke, Al would get his Nobel prize which shifted a little focus back to the left.

But the Sith were too powerful to be overtaken by these small gestures alone. They had their powerful set of two leaders- the master and the apprentice. (If I have to spell that out for you, you might have to stop reading. I'm sorry for waisting your time.)

Back to the end of Episode Three. With out a whole lot of detail the Sith Lord took our all of the counsel. Somehow without a lot of explanation the world became Republic again. I couldn't explain it to you. I have some guesses as to how it happened (he killed them all), but somehow the majority of the people in the universe turned to the Dark Side.

But here comes a New Hope. Barrack Obama has emerged from no where to bring the light side a possibility at recapturing power in the universe. The light side had already gained support (a rebellion, a congress). Barrack has destroyed the Death Star (gotten elected), channeled Yoda (Bill, the old leader) and rescued the princess (Hillary).

Now with Han Solo and Joe Biden at his side, the Rebellion has recaptured the hearts of the Universe.

But what happens next? Does the Rebellion continue? Will there be another Death Star, a battle on a frozen planet? Is George W really Barrack's father? Is there some way that Michael Moore could possibly end up being Jabba? When does the wookie make an appearence? And most importantly, will Han get the girl? Stick around because I am sure that the Empire will Strike Back.

Inventions

After viewing the world in the last week or so I have decided to go into my laboratory (pronounced with five overly drawn out syllables) and create inventions that will help out mankind.

1) A birth control vaccine that will not allow reproduction until the adult is prepared to have a baby. The vaccine will be given at birth and will last for the rest of the adults life. It will become dormant when the adult is able to and wants to have a child, and then will become active again when the adult is not in a role to have more children. It will be administered to both men and women.

The vaccine will judge the worthiness of the adult based on a number of factors: age, income, IQ, attractiveness, maturity and downright worthiness. This pill will be Darwin at his finest. No teenage girl will ever have to remember to take a pill again, no boy will ever have to contemplate whether or not to keep going if the condom breaks, and the human populous will not have to worry about babies being born addicted to crack.

The shot is so that I don't have to see any more 14 year old pregnant girls on the metro. With their 28 year old mothers. Pushing baby strollers. I'm sick of it.

I also want this evolution thing to speed up a little bit. And if this means sacrificing the wants and desires of people that want to have babies when they are not ready to I am willing to make that decision. And for all the people out there who tell me that I am not qualified to be the judge of anything, much less something I know little to nothing about- that's why I'm making the drug. It will make the decision, not me.

2) A tesserect machine. It doesn't have to be that complicated, but I am sick and tired of traveling places. Can't we come up with some way that will allow me to close my eyes, take a step forward and be where I want to be. Forget about electric cars, teleport me. It would save time, money and energy that we could use (probably to invent my machine.) Imagine a world without roads, a sky without airplanes and a world without as much pollution. We would still need to transport things, but this would be cool.

With these two inventions I will be able to clear up the world of a lot of things it doesn't need. Plus when I invent these I will become insanely rich and won't need to look for a job anymore.