job, but until then I might as well live life to the fullest instead of sitting around in my parents basement all day.1) Become a substitute teacher. I may be just a tad naive about this, but I do have a major god complex. I could make some very easy money ($115 a day in a local county). The only downturn is that I would have to deal with kids (which I hate) and go to school (see previous parenthetical statement). But I could do it everyday, and considering my cost of living is pretty much zero, it would put money in my pocket.
2) Donate sperm. You laugh, but of all the things that I have applied to do only the sperm people have gotten back to me with a positive response. I have actually passed the part that 80% of all applicants fail. Being tall, athletic, educated and rather good looking gives me a decent shot, and it pays 100-500 a week. And all I have to do is jack off into a cup. That would make me feel better about myself.
3) Be a volunteer firefighter. There are numerous reasons that this would be a good idea. The first is that it would look good on my resume. Short of goal number four there are not too many things that I can do that look cool and constitute something that might help me in my future career. The best part is- its hardly dangerous at all. Yes I know the whole "playing with fire" expression, but they don't call the volunteers for the really dangerous blazes. The second good reason to do this is that chicks would dig it. Come on girls, ask me what I do for a living. That's right, I'm a real life fireman. I might even get a tattoo with my ladder company's name on it.
4) Study to become a Mensa genius. How can you not get a job when you are a card carrying genius. Again, I would do it for the resume and the chicks. This one would be a little bit more difficult because of all the trivia that I would have to learn, but the ego in me says that I could do it in about a month.
5) Join a boxing gym. Again, I'm 6'5" 230 pounds and like violence. Who doesn't? I'm sure that I would get knocked around a little bit, but you don't get paid by the round. It's good money, and if you fight long enough you make good on your local investment. I looked into it awhile back and their was a gym in Chesapeake Beach that would take me. The coach's name was something ridiculous too- I want to say 'pookie', or 'twinkie' but don't quote me on that. So that would be a lot of fun. Plus all I have on my hands is time, and I might use that time to make me look real good.
6) Officer Candidate School. This is strictly a threat, because I think the gf would kill me. I really don't think I would mind OCS but I'm not sure what I would do with it afterwards. My best bet would be to get the Navy to pay for some type of grad school and then start a career in it (for example- law school and become a JAG officer), but see the next idea before you get too far into that.
7) Grad School. I hate school. I don't want to go back. I'm sure I could do law school, but I don't want to work that hard. Most other forms of school I would have to pay for, and I think they would just be a waste of time. The exception to this is any form of school anyone else would pay for. If it's not costing me any money, then why not, plus if someone is paying for it they would probably employ me later. I might be tempted to take a Grad Assistant coaching job, but I doubt it.
8) Hike the Appalachian trail. No joke I am going to do this. I want to hike the three longest trails in America, and I am young and would not miss out on six months of work. It's close enough that my friends could visit me on weekends, I have most of the equipment already, and hey, why not? I think this would be fun, and I could scratch it off of my bucket list, which I guess I should blog about at some point because I really don't have a lot to talk about except things I don't like and things I don't understand. March 13th is the cast off date, in case any of you other down and outs want to join me. It's a Friday, just the perfect day to start a 2,000 mile hike into the wilderness.
These are the things that I am threatening to do, including make that new blog post, and I will do them if I become desperate enough. No you can't talk me out of it- unless of course you are willing to offer me a big kid job.
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